I had with my cousin 6 years ago but I can't forget it anymore?

Back in 2004 My cousin and her family came back from Mexico moved in with us. Back then I had started to developed a strong attraction to my female cousin. Me and her started little by little. Like I would first hug her and grab the location of her nipple then she started to play those barbie dolls and started to make them do ual positions. One day my cousin lifted my shirt and started to make farting noises on my stomach. Then it was my turn. I did the same thing she did to me. She while I was doing she all the sudden guided my arm into her private. She told me to put my mouth into her private because she wanted to find out what would it feel like. I put my mouth in her private and started to suck on it. This continued for weeks and we even french kissed until One day her mom caught us doing our and we both got in trouble. My mom was so angry at me and for my cousin she got whopped really bad by her mom. I don't know if my mom and her mom told our incident to the whole family. Now 6 years have past (I'm 14 and she's 13 now living in mexico again) and I can't look at her the same again. before she moved I looked at her as a sister not a toy. I went to a therapist because I was having problems alot in my life but that's another story. I told my therapist everything I typed here and she said It affected me alot because I couldn't let out by talking to someone by talking about it. what are some solutions for me? I can't see my cousin the same way anymore :(